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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught
me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught
me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break
your neck, you can't come to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Makesure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8.
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
9. My mother taught me
about HYPOCRISY. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!
10. My mother taught me the CIRCLE
OF LIFE. "I brought yu into this world, and I can take you out."
11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
12. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate kids out there
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
13. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a
tornado ran through it!"
14. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they'll freeze
that way!"
15. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
16. My mother
taught me HUMOR. "When the lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
17. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME
AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
18. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like
your father."
19. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
20.
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Author Unknown.
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